Ellyfernoaks Anthology of BadTime Stories

surprise....

2005-12-20T06:59:00.000+11:00

Oh yes I am very much alive and kicking...

I don't quite remember how one blogs or how one kaypohs over other people's blogs, but i vaguely recall some fun times both ways. The plan now is to acquire a working computer..spanking new and by legal means will be preferable. But i'm not too fussed really.

Now for some blogging practice. ..

I've noticed that of late everyone asks me either one of 2 questions.. It's always " how's work?" or "you lost weight ah?" So to answer these questions once and for all...

work's been kinda fun. I've learnt a thing or two... like how many bottles of ice mountain a crew of 40 consumes in 5 days or how to get permission for anything and everything in record time no less. but of course work can be a bitch...like in any other profession... so i bitch back at the work and i move on... and i work somemore... not much to go on with that really... it's just a very passionate relationship.. . full of damatic love and hate..

now to answer question 2. yes i'm losing weight... because of the very passionate relationship aka. my job. I've concluded that i'm never made to be a working gal. in my bid to damage control, i will now stop working and lie in bed forever. oh and occasionally get up to do the blog thing. but of course.

i doubt very much that descriptions of my ceiling will interest anyone very much though. ...

2004-10-27T21:46:00.000+10:00

currently listening to: the pixies- "ed is dead"

ed is dead.

ed is my heater.

I fear electrical appliances. They have temperaments akin to rabid animals. The only difference is that I prefer them alive. Better a snarling table lamp than a dead one, I think.

my fan heater (currently named, Ed, for convenience of mourning...) just died on me... Dragging to its grave yet another 4-gang (this time it's the one CH left behind).... See it really doesn't add up. Why should one allow a $10 heater to kill off 2 perfectly workable extensions and god knows what else... one shd never attempt to revive a cheap heater just to hear it purr.... ya i never needed Ed... Not when I've got Charlene... That's my wall heater...the quiet one. ..

ah well.... R.I.P Ed... this is the last time i'm gonna revive ya.

eddie having a bad day.... died.

2004-10-23T01:58:00.000+10:00

approximately 4 nights ago, i met 2 of my downstairs neighbours and had abit of a chat over a ciggy break. mind you it was late at night and for some probably deep psychological reason i was glad i had finally met people like me at south east (flats). daysleeping smoke junkies. wonderful.

the next night, lured by the thot of turning my lungs black and staining my teeth yellow, i made my way to the bench downstairs for a solitary smoke-session. 2am. and there they were again. on the bench puffing away. we had some alright conversation and i came back up once again feeling like i cld actually make some friends here.

but of course im too paranoid to make friends. yesterday as per usual i had the urge to do some permanent damage to my poor body. and what did i do? stand at my room window and sniffed the air. bonkers? yes and no. see i've decided that i don't want them thinking im a stalker consistantly running down to have a "moment".

now of course one-half of me (probably the half not damaged by nicotine), thinks this is ridiculous... normal social ettiquette probably demands that i go down politely and knock on their door to ask if they want to join me for a break... but of course i end up waiting till i'm sure i smell no other daysleeping smoker before creeping downstairs to stare once again in solitude at the night sky and think the same thought i've had since i knew the difference between little boys and little girls..."am i weird? who wld want to play with a weirdo?"

do i have issues or do i have issues? think it must be that bitch-face elisabeth something or other. how could a 5-yr old be so cruel? yes kindergarden was a tough time....

oaks at 5 or 6. poster girl for being bullied in the playground. maybe i've got the pls. call me names and steal my toys look... seesh.

2004-10-20T02:32:00.000+10:00

Sometimes I get the feeling that I'm sabotaging myself. It's very subtle. Like electrical hums. But it's definately there. "It" being my self-imposed sabotage. "There" being my life, past, present and unfortunely future.

Now... I wonder why I feel utterly compelled to curl up into a small ball under the covers... It's as if i don't have 2 essays due and 2 exams to sit for in the next 48... make that 47 hours....

pwah. i'm quite good at this sabotage thingy. *curl* well done.

2004-10-11T08:35:00.000+10:00

currently listening to: sneaker pimps- “6 underground” (nellee hooper mix)

The sneaky thing about not being able to sleep is it not equating to being able to do some form of constructive work. Somehow one’s mind wonders to some obscure realm whereby blogging is thoroughly permissible but studying isn’t. And so to fully appreciate the extent of this wakeful guilt as I like to call it; here is a recap of my equally sinful weekend…

Had a fulfilling weekend in terms of enjoyment…. Think the word is…INDULGENce.
Friday evening was spent watching “Wimbleton” followed by dinner at StarEast. Had my long-missed Special Bento set.... went home well-satisfied but hardly in the mood to do much work … started playing Heroes 3 after some fairly half-hearted note reading. … Slept at 7am and woke at 9-ish anticipating the tulip farm excursion.

Came back around 5pm… and had a rest at Turnbull… After much gushing over the wonders of sunlight and reviewing shot after shot of tulips…fell into a deep snooze... Was practically dragged out of my stupor when I was bundled from the sofa to Jon’s car at about 7. Didn’t even have time to wash up or wake up… But was really glad when my stomach started rumbling when we got to Lygon. Had some pretty bland pasta at Papa Gino’s followed by some Gelati (but of course)… Headed back to Turnbull for some TV watching with Jan, Jon and Mr. Gan. Although I remember almost none of it… had fallen asleep on the sofa (magick futon!!!) again… must be all that food working its magic in my tum tum. The best company followed by the best surroundings, what more can a girl asks for? It’s no wonder I got so comfortable!! It was only when J&J left that I woke up. Went back to South East to rustle together some stuff for camping at Turnbull.

Sunday was a total blur… Slept a good part of it (Note: had fallen asleep at above mention sofa for the third time…and found myself in bed the next day…). We eventually got hungry and headed for Rich Maha to have Lunch-Dinner. Was joined by the ever entertaining Allan Wong aka. Chow Chee Boy....

Allan and Me @ Rich Maha

Allan and Gerard

Had a little stopover for snacks at Coles before heading back to Turnbull… was feeling a tad ill from goodness knows what… might be the 5 ciggies… an overload by my recent standards… ended up napping…yes u guessed it!... on the by now infamous futon!!! And to think I brought a whole load of work over… seesh!

Had some bread and milo before heading back to my own encampment at South East…One would have thought the weekend would end right here… well one thought wrong… anything could happen at South East Blk 2- Apt 7… Esp. with hilarious comic duo… Charms and Ever-present Visitor OH MY JOSH!

Charms demos "how to scare people"... Josh demos "how to be scared"...

oh My Josh's best doofus impersonation....

Oaks, Josh and Charms: Strange things happen after midnight at South East.... Just hamming it up folks!

And that concludes my weekend… But how do I sleep now w/o the trusty Turnbull futon???

2004-10-05T03:53:00.000+10:00

Today Byron left Melbourne fer good. ..Well got this off a forwarded mail, thought it appropriate... for his flight...have your speakers on folks...

Also... here's a peek at his farewell bbq @ albert park 2 weekends ago.

Haven't been in much of a blogging mood...esp. cos i'm using danny's internet quota..(Thanks Danny!)...mine's screwed up again... oh well... bedtime.

2004-10-03T19:21:00.000+10:00

Life is like a cup of coffee ...

"Life is like a cup of coffee, Sometimes bitter, sometimes sweet. Important thing is who you drink it with."

Niccolo Paganini, a colourful and gifted violinist of the nineteenth-century was standing before a packed house, playing through a difficult piece of music. A full orchestra surronded him with full support. Suddenly, one string on his violin snapped and hung gloriously down from his instrument.

Beads of perspiration popped out of his forehead. He frowned but continued to play, improvising beautifully. To the conductor's surprise, a second string broke. And shortly after, a third. Now there were three limpstrings dangling from Paganini's violin as the master performer completed the difficult composition on the remaining one string. The audience jumped to its feet and in good Italian fashion filled the hall with shouts of "Bravo! Bravo!"

As the applause died down, the violinist asked the people to sit back down. Even though they knew there was no way they could expect an encore, they quietly sank back to their seats. He held the violin up high for every one to see. He nodded at the conductor to begin the encore and then turned back to the crowd. With a twinkle in his eye, he smiled and shouted, "Paganini and one string!"

After that he placed the single-string Stradivarius beneath his chin and played the final piece on one string as the audience shook their heads in silent amazement.

Our life may very well be filled with troubles, worries, disappointments and what not. Frankly, we spent most of the time concentrating and fretting over the strings that snap, dangle and pop - the things that can't be changed!

Are you still agonizing over your snapped strings in life? Is the one string that you are left with being played out of tune? If so, may I encourage you to look not back, press on, and start playing the single string again. Let it yield a sweet, winesome melody that the world needs so desperately. You can if you will.

2004-09-16T17:07:00.000+10:00

I think I've become lots more longwinded and humourless. This when compare to ....

http://ellyfernoaks.diaryland.com/older.html

...my blog from 2001-2003.

...sometimes i think diaryland's prettier and less complicated. Waddaya think?

2004-09-16T13:29:00.000+10:00

Place: The Den Time: 11.12am
Weather: Grey skies baby....
No. of Cigs: 0.2 Alcohol Units: 0 Caffeine: 0.5

Today started somewhat like an organised slice of my life back in 2001. In organised I probably meant I had breakfast and a good intent to do some form of work. Perhaps the fact that I had some proper sleep has got something to do with it. Then again it could be Charlotte Perkins Gilman's The Yellow Wallpaper that freaked me out enough to make me want to get a move on with things.

Yesterday I was reading Yellow Wallpaper for my women's lit. class next week. It was so engaging that I completed it + the afterword @ a go. Only 60-odd pages of pure masterpiece. The narration came from a woman in the 19th century who was slowly going insane as she was confined to bed-rest due to mild depression. Needless to say the isolation drove her totally mad...Jeepers creepers!

Thursdays...meant to be a full day of documentary film class. But ya...damn those strikes...industrial action kiss my ass... turned up in uni at 10.30 and class was cancelled...library's closed... so's MUISS lounge. Blessing perhaps?... Came to drink coffee and sit among other non-strikees... I remember a time when coffee...cigarettes...some good reading material... a pen and notepad were my faithful companion. A sort of ritual I kept regularly. It's been a long time since I afforded myself that habit. I kinda know when it started. That cultivated fear of independence. It started with coming to Melbourne.

It was in the weeks proceeding my arrival here in 2002 that I spent an obscene amount of time @ _____ cafe and developed a large number of my best works (or so I thought anyways). I just kept writing. I was so confident and excited about the prospect of going away and finding new impetus to write on. ... gaining new insights...I was so sure things could only get better. That I myself would be a better person for it all. I also thought I would be unfaltering in my beliefs...steadfast in my love. Vincit Moiria Amour. The person that I thought I knew so well and held in confidance turned out to be a fraud. I was to realise soon enough some critical weaknesses... in myself. It was a disappointment to say the least. What does one do when one loses respect for oneself? Loss of trust I reckon. I guess it grew into a dependence on someone else to take care of my person... for I did not trust myself to be of sound values or judgement to navigate my own being anymore. I think I became a higly nervous creature half the time. Very high-strung. Social ma-ma turned Golem??? Creeping around and shying away from company? Neediness grew out of a need for affirmation? An affirmation that I was not a horrid ignorant little person...er...Golem? who knows?

But all that is history I hope. Time is catching up and it is short... way too short. Today I start my life again unassumingly. Wait. I keep saying that. Note to self: Be resolute you imp!

*Wished it weren't so cold... Can't smoke inside... Will freeze outside. Go Home?

2004-09-15T18:03:00.000+10:00

When I'm bored... I turn people into cartoon characters and what not.here's my newest..Jap inspired "GOODAAA PANDAH" *exegerated jap accent*!!!

Of course Gerard's become my most frequent vandaliso muse... well he's one person that is most likely not gonna sue... "GOOOODA PANDDDAH"!!!!

2004-09-14T01:52:00.000+10:00

currently listening to "what it's like" - everlast

muiss execs 2002-2003

The MUISS Team

Tomorrow (at 1pm to be exact)... 7 young pple will be trying to make themselves heard over the uni lunch time crowd...mainly the local cohort who would be staring bewilderedly at these strange asian kids attempting some obscure debate to a paltry audience of ... erm... 10-15?? yep it's the annual muiss election forum once again.

it was 2 yrs ago that i was introduced to this strange ritual... barely 3 months into my arrival here in melbourne... i became one of those nervous kids up on the platform... a microphone thrust firmly in my face.... It ended with a landslide victory... a year in service... tears, laughs, betrayal/ loyalty... retirement... sitting on the side benches...All these while a part of me asked "er... what the fuck am I doing all this for?" I started off knowing no one, having no idea how things worked in this committee, while some of my compatriots were previous general committee members adapt to the inside politics and systems. but at the bottom of it all...we played it by ear... and hopefully with heart... but most importantly, we did it together as a team.

If we begin a topic on MUISS... it would make a whole 30k word long thesis... we can speak of developments, contributions, dynamics, services... blah blah blah... Although these are some fundamentals of the organisation... I swear that with me...those aren't the core... or the core reason that MUISS had me in its net. For me and here I speak for myself only... it had always been the people... for that's what MUISS is made of... people.. of which if w/o we can kiss everything else about MUISS goodbye.... Those who had been of the same 2002-2003 batch wld know my famous advocate...Ohana Means Family. This organisation is my family here. And w/o a doubt...as we may all agree... it helps and starts with May Garcia... the wonderful May Garcia. Secondly, for me... it was my lovely team... with dynamics i felt must have been spiritually motivated... how else?

Often times, pple say MUISS don't reach out to enough IS (International Students)... I don't disagree with that... but if anyone were to claim MUISS redundent becos of that then i have to say FUCK u... for a muiss committee comprises of abt 25 IS + a couple more friends of muiss and we have like at least 5 percent of the IS population... now tell me... what wld happen if MUISS crumbles?

Okay I shd stop beating ard the bush... i guess the concern abt this yr's lack of nominees did disappoint me somewhat.. a lack of pple suggest a lack of passion or spirit... a necessary ingredient in the pipes of an active successful organisation...
It was not an easy ride during my term...I have shunned MUISS affairs as much as possible thereafter... but i have to clarify now... that it isn't MUISS that I regretted... it was my own inabilities and choices despite MUISS that threw me off...but that is my own personal story which i leave for another gloomier day.

My portfolio had its own unique limitations and yet greater frontiers than the rest... success came rare and sometimes almost insignificant to speak of. It wasn't easy convincing others of yr cause when you urself had many doubts... it was equally hard to even speak durin internal meetings when you know even many in your own committee cldn't care less and were politely keeping quiet.."listening". Worse still... you know all this cos if u were them u wld feel the same. What then was rewarding fer me... rewarding enough fer me to still care... at least a fraction fer the future of this organisation?

Cliche as it may be... it is in the "good job!" or "thank you!" that you get from a virtual stranger who felt had benefited from your work as a rep. of muiss...( this is esp. comforting when you've just went through double meetings back to back and had no time fer lunch, gone w/o much sleep... badly need to catch up on school work and was just feeling like the most miserable ever)... It is also in the personal letters/emails of appreciation you get from various members of the 25 member team at the end of your term that made it well worth it.... It is in the bond between ur team that has been forged... sometimes just sometimes it is also in the little pieces of completed work... where u feel a sense of having learnt something new once again... a migration policy... a portion of the constitution... even a new way of formatting reports neater and faster!

I don't need to change the lives of all IS in Monash to feel the cause worthwhile... I feel it worth something cause someone smiled at me that day and gave a compliment pertaining to muiss...I feel it worth something when i see friends of muiss hanging ard together...giving general support... I feel it worth something cos there's this strange feeling inside that makes me care for pple and organisation alike. I feel it worth something because i have seen it worth something to many ohers and subsequently to myself. that shd mean something.

Tomorrow when those 6-7 pple speak at the forum trying desperately to be heard... I will be hoping that they feel something even stronger as they continue this new journey with muiss. i also encourage those who feel unable to do so... leave while you can. There is no shame, no obligation. There is no need to go into something potentially hazardous to you! Enjoy your life here, you can do it w/o an executive position too. MUISS wld do better with a vacant seat here and there than an unwilling soul. MUISS is not Life itself. Take it easy dudes....

Despite my long letter of passion *french accent*... please be reminded that MUISS is just a student organisation. Your piority is to your own well-being first and foremost. What happens if MUISS crumbles? I'll say it's a great pity... HQ will be gone.. May G. will be re-assigned? But what if it does crumble... ? Let it. If it comes to that then its time has come and there is just no one to host it anymore... MUISS is in the people... So let us see what happens from here. Best of Luck to the brave individuals... for tomorrow's batch is faced with something far tougher than what we have faced previously. Lack of competitive challenge fer one... but oh well it could have been worse...

All in all... HAve Fun!

2004-09-08T13:47:00.000+10:00

image testing ... 1...2...3...

2004-08-27T16:47:00.000+10:00

currently listening to: "in the flight" - fishmans

been awake... rolling around in bed... for a solid 2 hrs or so...huge waste of time if i may say so myself... thots from yesterday have manifest again... but to no conclusion... found my old collection of mp3s... music i've forgotten...going thru them now... some got me abit nostalgic...

got... to... get... out... of ... this... mood...

open my curtains and realise it is a beautiful day.. i love the sun... dun get enuff of it in the recent months. maybe i'll go take a walk now. or maybe i'll go find food and chin up abit. first to the showers i will drag my reluctant carcass.

2004-08-27T05:33:00.000+10:00

currently listening to: "night cruising" - fishmans

just came back from janelle's new plc. went with gerard to help her set up the furniture. this was impromptu and i didn't think it wld take all night. ... ya right... though it was quite a nice evening in the company of friends but that screwed up my "sleep early" plan again. alot of thots running around all night at the back of my head. all through ryan's bday thing at kee hung's... all thru the evening at lai and janelle's... have not yet really put these thots together coherently...even to myself. perhaps if i had ample time to remain balancing on top of the giant ball at kee hung's i might have been enlightened... =P

tired. not that i've done much at all. that sux.

2004-08-26T05:55:00.000+10:00

currently listening to: "sweetest decline" - beth orton

Yaaaiiiks! I've got raisin bread crumbs on my bed!!!! argh. can't sweep it onto the carpet...just vacuumed earlier... first time in like forever...yes i've been living in dust and hairballs....and no i'm not that disgusting... i actually have very obsessive compulsive hygiene standards...really. Just chose to ignore the lack of vaccuum situation cos i'm more obsessive compulsively LAZY.. =P . now i'm happy with my clean room... finally my beanbag can come home from gerard's. was so happy i spent a good 5 mins sitting on it doing absolutely nothing.

quite an uneventful day... felt kinda lousy cos i cldn't sleep last night ( not even going to go into the reason)...and slept in all day... default not a happy oaky mode. finally crawled out of bed at 5pm... felt really off cos i've been good with my sleeping habits... been waking up around 10-12 in the morning... all that carefully monitored sleeping time's been screwed...

now it's morning again... oh no. got to get rid of these crumbs and go bury myself in my nest. hope i wake up a happier oaky... if i don't dream/think of unmentionable individual. -

2004-08-25T02:58:00.000+10:00

currently listening to: "laid" - james

ah... i love james... how i love thee... talking music here, NOT any specific male item. =)

i had all these things i wanted to blog... but PKL suddenly appeared online... now i'm distracted... *frown*... okay today i shall not be suedo-intellectual or complex... heheh... just going to recap my day...

1.30pm.went to see my tutor. she is keen to have me continue on with my current essay topic... oh well... got to hand it up by friday. "bite the bullet" she says... well hope it doesn't blow a hole in my head... had a looong looong seminar on charlotte bronte's villette. Unrequited love and all that in 19th century feminist writing... perfect if not that it ran on fer the entire afternoon w/o a break...was quite tired thereafter...

5pm. went to muiss...as usual... sniff out my usual smoke and coffee "kakis".... Today there was Lai, Paul, Danny, Zach, Darryl (i hope i spelt her name right... anyways she's this very pretty and hot philipino girl)... and Renald. We had coffee at the Den. hahaha won't go into our little discussion but it started funny and ended funnier..."which comes first? chicken or the egg?" =P

Went to the library to print some notes and headed back home around 7.30pm... felt quite quizzy... think i've had one too many cigs and way too little food today...( i cannot imagine how some girls can eat like sparrows... me? i need to be fed like an elephant...!) Had dinner while trying to wake gerard, so that he can come over for dinner... but surely i was too hungry to wait fer him...heh.

So the evening was spent having a good ole catch up with Allan Wong at the CoCo Lounge... together with charmaine, gerard and zach. Had apple pie and asahi but still came back hungry... so i ate somemore! Elephant appetide I tell ya. and now i'm going to call PKL... and take my dosage of nagging from him. heh. SUCH A NAG!!!! (not a snag)

2004-08-24T02:19:00.000+10:00

currently listening to: the tourist -radiohead

i don't know where to begin. been so out of it all. (SURPRISE to all u pple who's been reading my last blog over and over and thanks fer bitchin' bout it right back at me... hahaha)

was on a 7 day mc. overall well-being was at an all time low. spent days on end- waking up... making meals and having them with gerard...tv surfin, vcd watchin...going back to bed- restless empty days... not that i didn't enjoy the "holiday" with my partner...but i knew it was just our distraction tactics...evading real-life into our simple little pleasantville.... i feel like a ghost in my own life...

on top of my already wallowing laziness, i had to go catch the "flu-like" virus... i think i'm quite lost... both with my school work and everything else around. i went for like a good 1/2 hr of lessons for the whole of last week...hooray fer me! i think my simplest aim for now is to walk into my tutor's office bight and early tomorrow and declare myself a naughty girl + propose a truce. I want to start my research paper from scratch... no joke. I want to restart a chunk of my life from scratch actually...no joke about that too. Just partial re-adjustments... i want to live.

and i guess growing up's got to start somewhere... even if i like being 5 just fine... ey...too bad i ain't got no beeg boobs and cute nose... then maybe i can retain a 5 year old mentality and still manage to pull it all off nicely... hahaha... oh survival ... indeed we live in a world made only for the fit... survival of the fittest... i've got like mega-tons of bad attitude and ill-discipline to whip into shape!

2004-06-07T06:14:00.000+10:00

currently listening to New Order - "Crystal"

There are a multitude of things...are multitudes of things... is a multitude of things...(o bother i'm an English major n I can't get my tenses right!!!)....anyway, there are multitudes of things....I can be doing right now. Like training chimpanzees to say "i love you" in unison. That might feed my big fat ego. But since I have no means of purchasing chimps, I will now go smear baby oil onto my deformed toes and pray they look pretty by morning. Oh. But IT IS morning. Stupid me.

It's good that there will be sunlight soon i suppose. my mommy deduced that the lack of sunshine i've been receiving equates to my less than positive outlook...which inevitably leads to a very dull me indeed. I don't want to be dull. I don't want to be stupid either. It would be hard for a stupid girl to train chimps to love a dull girl.

Now where's that sun?

2004-06-07T04:04:00.000+10:00

Raver Bear

Which Dysfunctional Care Bear Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

I do so love those ring pop thingies....

2004-06-06T08:38:00.000+10:00

Some things to look forward to:

1. PKL promises to come over for my graduation. I hope Noi comes along too.
2. Brandon's going to join me here soon! I'm getting more excited every day!
3. The Melbourne Film Fest will be here late July...yeay!
4. My cousin Tracy's going to be here for 2 weeks...
5. I've been promised some cartons of samppies!
6. Winter break!
7. Sleep-overs at turnbull(hopefully)+ lots of cocktails...my midori/frangelico/etc. r still stashed in the ladder over there...and some of my glasses too...
8. Picking up some new skill... like knitting...
9. Better sleeping hours, better health regime...better lifestyle...period.
10. An upgraded version of me.

2004-06-06T07:44:00.000+10:00

currently listening to Sarah McLachlan's "TrainWreck"

My day's just about to end. This being a normality for me. My housemates aren't even surprise to find me indulging in some pretty fancy culinary feats in the middle of the night anymore...Considering that I crawl out from my "cave" after 6pm...Hehe.

Rather proud of myself! Started cooking ard 9pm I think... ended up with 3 varied lunch packs for Mr Gan + dinner...=) Despite our many differences, the one compatibility between us happens to be the weird hours we keep. Yep...settled down to read some mags while i waited for him to wake up. And he "punctually" turned up around 3am...in time for dinner! wahahaha... Now he's just gone off to study at uni...with his 3 little lunch boxes... Seafood Hokkien Noodles/Nasi Lemak Style (Chilli Ikan Bilis and all that) + Japanese Fusion/ Rice with Salted Veg, Chicken Drumstick etc. O I even added a packet of Yeo's Chrysanthemum Tea! Wahahaha just gotta brag about it... it took me all night afterall! Char and Sze Min thought I looked like a caterer! But seriously... I hope he doesn't get a tummy-ache...hahahah. It WAS my first attempt frying hokkien mee!

The reason that I'm so "free" is actually because the past few weeks have been quite hell-ish. The lack of blogs would have probably been evident. Haven't been feeling too good plus my final exams were mostly during the last 2 weeks of semester opposed to most people's. Although we ( mainly Char and I) get alot of shit from people, who insist that we have it easy not having exams (while their exams begin next week...), but I beg to differ . Think about it... we don't have much time to study on top of our assignments... we still HAVE 2 hr exams and all...we just don't have them during the designated exam weeks... I sat for 3 this week alone and one last week...+ 2000/3000 word assignments. now that wasn't fun. Not one bit. I've been noted to have looked really stressed out even when I just wake up... Not that that shd be surprising... I barely had more than 3 hr naps at one go... and they were all dream-filled ones at that!

Spent most of friday and saturday catching up on my much needed sleep...was also nursing a nasty menstrual cramp and a tiny cold. So glad it all happened after my papers... Now I've got just one more assignment and an exam happening 2 weeks from now. Phew!

2004-06-06T07:13:00.000+10:00

Your love in all it's finery
Tear up the darkness all around me
Until I can breathe again
Until I believe again

Cause I'm a train wreck
Waiting to happen
Waiting for someone to come pick me up off the tracks
A wild fire born of frustration
Born of a world, oh, that gets me so high
I've no fear at all

But your eyes like midnight fireflies
Light up the trenches where my heart lies
Until I can see again
Find my way back again
~TrainWreck, S. McLachlan

I think I've been domesticated... He's gone to the study room and I feel like a doggie waiting for its master to return...RUfff!

2004-06-05T07:34:00.000+10:00

currently listening to The Cranberries- "When You're Gone"

I keep dreaming of the same person. I really can't understand why. But I don't want to stop cos it's nice and normaland right in that other place. But it makes me not want to wake up ever. And that may be wrong.

2004-06-01T23:57:00.000+10:00

currently listening to Sarah McLachlan's "Time"

Yes i've received all 5 of your messages today. But I've answered none.

"forgive me"you say...
How should that be done? I wish someone would tell me. That faithful phone call had become a pivitol point in our history. It is the one piece of domino that will topple the rest. Perhaps they can be picked up again. I don't know.

"forgive me"you say...
I don't know how to answer to that. I never could figure what to say to that. i don't think i ever will know how to. What's there to forgive? Maybe it's the weather. My head feels quite numb with cold. A gigantic icicle is in place of my brain. Somehow that renders me incapable of any coherent thought.

2004-05-29T06:46:00.000+10:00

currently listening to INXS's "Never Tear Us Apart"
Can't sleep. So thought I'd do those quiz thingies my fellow bloggers seem to be having so much fun with.

E.T.!

What movie Do you Belong in?(many different outcomes!)
brought to you by Quizilla

2004-05-21T19:12:00.000+10:00

currently listening to pizzicato five's version of "Girl From Ipanema"

just did my drive test this morning. was so nervous... haha. haha. haha. i passed!!! *phew* BUT i failed the computer "hazard perception" test...so i've got to go back and do the computer test again... feel like such a dumb-dumb... guess i'm not too good at percepting hazards huh?

and we're not just talking about the road here...

anyways... my instructor thinks i shd be watching out for speeding fines in the future... he thinks i have a tendency to "charge down roads in a furious way".... whaat? 2 fast 2 furious ah? where got??? I'm like AFRAID of the road maybe??? *confused* Funny thing about passing is not knowing when I'll get to drive again...and i think i will miss my instructor!!! And Ryan was right when he said "if u pass... u get a ride back...when u fail... u drive urself back" wahahah... oh... thanks to Ling and Ryan who bothered to msg me to ask how the test went...

hehe... anyways got to heave myself out of slumberland and get showered and change... yeay! I can go out with mr gan for a lil' while tonight...n he's gonna treat me to a movie... *beaM* what to wear...? what to wear...? i'm such a biiiimbo i tell u...

n life goes on..... doodoodooodooo like i always say... depressed people have to eat too ya know... besides... nothing's gonna go spoil my friday night!

2004-05-20T14:25:00.000+10:00

currently listening to Beck's "Nothing I Haven't Seen" & "All In Your Mind"

I'm hurting all over like I've never slept. Shd have slept earlier last night, ended up sleeping at 4ish...=(

Last night I promised Mr Gan I'd be good just before I closed my eyes. I guess good does not equate to crawling back under the covers eh? I'm terribly self-absorb in my petty problems sometimes. The last thing Mr Gan needs is a wreck of a nerve-shot bitch at a bad time like this. Everybody's got problems afterall. y shd mine be so exclusive? but my head n tummy n back does hurt alot and my driving lessons in an hr... there's always panadol i guess....

ok got to get up, got to shower, got to put on something nice and cheery, got to smile, got to be polite, got to laugh at jokes and eat at the right times, got to do work, got to exercise, got to say the right things at the right times, got to have nice hair n perfect nails, got to go for class, got to be nice to people, got to be good, got to be good, got to be good, got to be perfect.

2004-05-20T13:57:00.000+10:00

currently listening to Counting Crows' "Colorblind"

So I have woken up to another day afterall. pity.

2004-05-19T22:41:00.000+10:00

currently listening to 3 doors down's "here without you"

just got off the phone. he might be getting married.
was it so long ago that we had danced to this song? perhaps..

I will go to sleep. and there will be this place with this strange boy. maybe he'll ask me to go have kfc fer lunch. who knows? perhaps this time i will stay...perhaps.

i dun feel that i can wake up to another day. i'm not sure abt. anything anymore. my stomach hurts.

2004-05-19T21:01:00.000+10:00

Currently listening to Skunk Anansie's "Secretly"

Woke up at 6am this morning. Felt really down. Was stressed out cos I was supposed to wake up earlier to do my assignments. 7am. contemplated calling my mom or del. things were bad. Took me awhile to take a shower and get composed. 8am. decided i could be a baby about it or go have myself a ciggie. opted for the latter. Felt better when i came upstairs.continued to be fairly cheerful the entire day.

Think all this restructuring of my sleeping pattern and limited ciggy breaks have been wrecking my mental/emotional health. Think i shd just try to curb one habit at a time. pioritised assignment to morning lecture. managed to spew out some 500 odd words before starting to drift into oblivion once again. tummy was bad all morning. went to the loo 3 times. sigh... wat did i eat now?

Felt really bad about not writing to del who's been the more disciplined letter writer/parcel sender...heh. dunno whether to write a postcard or another email. can only beat his 11-paged snail mail when i am free lah!!*grinz*...had only half hr before tute...so decided to consider the postcard/ email after dinner... put on the giordano junoir jacket wif the moomoo cow that he got me...yes i fit into a size "age 8-10" *deadpant*...

went off for my 3pm tute...yeay early for class 3 times in a row this week... mighty proud of myself...punctuality ain't my forte. was awake the whole tute... actually made some form of notes...heh. trod off happily to muiss to grab my ( and mr gan's) budget nasi lamak lunch...then went for driving lesson. Came back...had dinner with mr gan... watched some tv.... saw him downstairs...fed myself the 5th ciggie fer the day and took another shower. guess i might just do some work now. after i do some equally long procrastinated postcard writing of course.... =)

so i managed to get a grip on reality n got through another day. wowee. can't wait till this whole humdrum circus of assignment ends ...with hopefully happy conclusions....ggggrh.

2004-05-18T03:48:00.000+10:00

currently listening to Faithless's "Addictive".

Woke at 1pm yesterday...reluctant to get out of bed as usual... ended up rushing fer 2pm tute...only had a glass of water. The plan was to go back and fix mself some lunch...but was craving chinese noodle soup throughout the class..haha.. so hungry. was quite glad i detoured to campus centre to satisfy my craving after class...cos i bumped into gerard there. It may seem a little silly but just to have a companion sit beside one reading the papers while one devours one's food is v.comforting. esp. when one is feeling somewhat stressed out. he cld have gone off but took the time to go buy food with moi and sat there till i have finished then proceeded to send me home. Never rushing me. Simple simple pleasures.

Chatted with charms for abit when i got back... both happily eating strawberry tiny teddies. Slept from about 8 plus till 1am... had stressful dreams =( Got out of bed and cooked myself a big meal. Was reading byron wee's blog while eating...he's gone back to s'pore for a month or two...reading his blog really made me quite homesick. =(

ok got to do work now...wow before i start work i feel sleepy already. and the best part is...? i can't wait till after school tomorrow... when it's bed time again... sigh.

2004-05-16T01:46:00.000+10:00

currently listening to David Bowie's "Space Oddity"

Hmmm...Mr Gan and I were a good half-hour late getting to Chaddy's for the SAM movie screening of Troy today. Got there at about 1.45pm.... Then immediately after the show we had to rush back home... didn't even stop to say hi to anyone... Bet only Josh saw us there... and that's only becos he was in the seat beside us. Had to rush cos my driving lesson was at 4.30pm and the show ended at 4.10pm. I literally jumped out of one car into another. Seems like my life is rush rush rush lately... and that's cos i've been super slacking... it's pay back time as usual...

Took a nap around 6plus after drive lesson... Mr Gan who came over fer dinner at 8 couldn't wake me so he went ahead to eat with Sze Min and Chee Seng... my fabulous housemate + bf. They were the ones doing the cooking once again. finally clambered out of bed at 9 plus.

Now I've got to do work... =( Sian... and Mr Gan has been fast asleep since 12 plus already. Looking at him I wish I could sleep too... *pout*

2004-05-14T17:34:00.000+10:00

currently listening to Kim Stockwood's "Jerk"...

Hahahahaah... took this off RENEE's blog... this is so good..and kinda true... besides...it fits my mood now...

As I've Matured...
I've learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is
stalk them and hope they panic and give in...

I've learned that one good turn gets most of the blankets.

I've learned that no matter how much I care, some people are just jackasses.

I've learned that it takes years to build up trust, and it only takes suspicion, not proof, to destroy it.

I've learned that whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.

I've learned that you shouldn't compare yourself to others - they are more screwed up than you think.

I've learned that depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

I've learned that it is not what you wear; it is how you take it off.

I've learned that you can keep vomiting long after you think you're finished.

I've learned to not sweat the petty things, and not pet the sweaty things.

I've learned that ex's are like fungus, and keep coming back.

I've learned age is a very high price to pay for maturity.

I've learned that I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy it.

I've learned that we are responsible for what we do, unless we are celebrities.

I've learned that artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

I've learned that 99% of the time when something isn't working in your house, one of your kids did it

I've learned that there is a fine line between genius and insanity.

I've learned that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon and all the less important ones just never go away. And the real pains in the ass are permanent.

will try to write the 200 words mr gan had managed to ceorce me into doing fer my OWN essay...while he makes it back from the city to take me out fer dinner....yeay. i'm so fucking spoilt aren't i? well i'll let u in on something...it is mighty fun to be a brat...mr gan has got me a new nick anyhow.."PURE BRAT!" WOW. I'm getting quite good at becoming a SHE-MUNSTER!!!! *GROWL*

2004-05-14T03:46:00.000+10:00

currently listening to Don Mclean's "Crying"....AGAIN on Repeat

been trying to sleep since 10pm after i said goodnite to mr gan and promptly disconnected the phone line...sigh but im still awake even after a fairly long chat with brandon over the phone (after reconnecting at 1am). was quite a cheerful lil chat tho half the conversation shd not be in a polite conversation...wahahahaha...upon putting down the phone i statred feeling sad again...o well...am so dead...my assignment is getting no where....but the worse part is i had to go back to msn and make small talk with someone who probably wish I dun exist. fine. fair enuff i dun warrant any attention from you anyway...besides now that u dun need me anymore why bother at all...dun think i dun feel it... i do. i already know. i can just feel it. Angry? U bet i am... but what's the point... fuck it oaks...breath..

sometimes i really think i lack self restraint... never make the first move when u are not in tip top condition... i must be getting out of practice...if only i had slept... i wld be fresh to do work now and i wldn't be feeling worse than before this. but i guess it's too late... esp. with my nick on MSN screaming I HATE HIM I HATE HIM I HATE HIM...it's tiring to wake up every morning with hope and go to bed each night feeling you've been dismissed... then feeling stupid for even caring... argh... im like 23 going on 17...fabulous. grrrh...he doesn't even care for goodness sake... i shd just pack everything...photos on the wall...little knicknacks etc... into a box and label it like another sad story. ...geez get a grip already oaks...

Well, am having a rare chat on MSN with Roland...happy. And charms also same problem as me...not sleeping...yes weird huh? our rooms are one wall apart and we are chatting online hahahahahha...o well going to attempt to sleep again... besides...mr gan just got me a new bear bear last week... hrmp... i will hug it and go to bed....and i dun fucking care if they tell me im not 5 and cant behave like one! *wrinkle nose...pout*

2004-05-13T19:44:00.000+10:00

currently listening to Don Mclean's "crying"...

went for my soci seminar at 2pm. felt a little pissed for not being able to stay up to do my essay last night. starting to sleep earlier and that sux cos i really need to stay up to get productive work done. left halfway thru the tute after attendence was taken. in a blue funk of sorts. bumped into charms while walking to muiss where i might hopefully find some poor unsuspecting soul to hang... for fun. charms was bluey too... so she invited me to join renee (hum yu) and herself for coffee, 4pm, at the bio science cafe plc again.

had time to kill... so proceeded to muiss to complete my mission of hanging someone. ha. found lots of pple but dragged zach and lai to the cafe instead. was good to just chill with them both. we shd do that more often. i went over to join charms and renee after the 2 guys left. renee was so sweet... bought moi some beeer... yeay! so 3 of us ladies were just HAPPY HOUR-ing away... till Gerard came and caught me galavanting...ooops...he had us all packed and sent home...=)... yep wat a sweetheart.

well now charms and i are just wallowing here in moi room .....as the music suggest... "oh u dun love me... n i'll always be... crying...over u..."....

Sze min and Chee Seng... our designated chefs fer the evening just called us fer dinner.They are the best housemates ever..Sze Min + 1. hahaaha... =)

2004-05-13T01:50:00.000+10:00

currently listening to blink 182's "i miss you"...on repeat yet again

Didn't do much earlier today except to go for Italy on Film tute... That irritating Italian woman was taking the class again this week... sigh and she was scratching her thighs mid way thru the lesson... i think she was wearing purple panty-hose and it was itchy...but if you had to go wear purple panty hose , you have to be cool enough not to scratch in public...no? Lucky Charmaine didn't go today... she would have been so irritated with the woman...Hope we get John Gregory for tute next week.

Then in the evening I went for Janelle's Golden Key induction ceremony with her "dear dear" aka Stupid Boy aka Ryan...and my Mr Gan. It was nice of her to invite us 2 to join her on this special night. Anyway, Golden Key is one of those things you get if you are top 5 or 15% of the cohort... then u get a life time membership as one of those Damn Smart People. And so machem Mr Gan and I subsitute proud parents for the evening. It was quite boring though... speeches and more speeches that those Damn Smart People like to make...Irene Sutanto and Beverly Ching were there to receive their Damn Smart People Cert also.. =)

When it ended Jan, Ryan, Jason, Sulgi, Irene, Mr Gan and Myself headed to Rock Kung for dinner. Was so cold and SO HUNGRY. Ate so much then headed home to watch TV wif Mr Gan and some Peppermint Milk Tea with Pearls...ya my usual... I mean both the milk tea and the Mr Gan...

Unfortunately I am neither Damn Smart nor Damn Hardworking... but I have to go do work now.....hrmp.

2004-05-12T12:24:00.000+10:00

currently watching: blink 182's "i miss you" video.

watching it for just abt. 275 times. leaving it on while i slept may not have been gd idea. now im addicted. im easily addicted... to many things.

"...Where are you and I'm so sorry
I cannot sleep I cannot dream tonight
I need somebody and always
This sick strange darkness
Comes creeping on so haunting every time....
And as I stared I counted
Webs from all the spiders
Catching things and eating their insides
Like indecision to call you
and hear your voice of treason
Will you come home and stop this pain tonight
Stop this pain tonight

Don't waste your time on me you're already
The voice inside my head (miss you miss you)
Don't waste your time on me you're already
The voice inside my head (miss you miss you)...."

i shd get on with my life already.

2004-05-06T20:49:00.000+10:00

Waiting fer Mr Gan to deliver me my much craved fish porridge. Guess ham sandwich does not suffice as dinner. Am very sleepy... hope he gets here before I fall asleep. Oh he is here! To make sure I am well-fed. He is such a sweetheart...you have no idea. *yawn**flops off to open the door with unruly hair...v. unglam*

2004-05-06T19:53:00.000+10:00

I hope Gracie-Mae likes to read. Fiction like her mommy and History like her daddy-O. If she's lucky she may inherit some of her daddy's tall, sexy lankiness. Perhaps even the dark curls and beautiful face. If she's luckier she may not inherit her mommy's neurosis. But it would be most preferable that she has none of her modern-day hippie parents' lousy sense of direction and lala land ideals. Ideals like this one. I hope the ex-fiancé agrees... ideals are just that. Till made reality...they remain just ideals.

2004-05-06T19:13:00.000+10:00

Went for zen meditation with Petr @ noon. Was pretty good. If western science cannot cure some of my irrationalities, perhaps meditation might. We'll see.

Was in a pretty good mood after that. Skipped class, skipped the library, skipped doing my essay. tum tum still hurts abit... Met a new girl in the muiss lounge...basked in this rare friendly cheeriness I seem to be having...Had coffee with Ling and Zach @ Wellingtons followed by more coffee with Charmaine @ the new cafe on campus. Have no idea what it's called but it was nice. Thanks Char! Pity we had to go just as the one -man performance was starting up... Acoustic U2's "All I Want Is You" no less. Very nostalgic.

We were pondering many things... one of which had us speculating what sort of mothers would we be (It being mother's day this Sunday). I imagined Char with a squirming kid having high tea...and how she would give the kid disapproving fierce looks...hahaha... And she figured I would be an attentive mom who would read to her kids but occasionally go all emo and leave the kids to their own devices. Ah that's bad. Kinda reminded me of the time I left something in the oven. Gerard was pretty upset about it...and I was inconsolable... apparently we both had the same thought... what if that had been a small child??? Baking toddlers...mmm... a good mom I don't make... Ah naw...we were relating it more to my 2 min attention span. I guess I won't be bathing babies w/o supervision....

Anyways, I had a quick coffee meet up with Gerard @ The Den yesterday. Looks like I'm doing an all campus cafe visit this week. heh.

Now I'm back in my room, munching a ham sandwich for dinner...I'm back to face the realities. How fun.

2004-05-06T11:51:00.000+10:00

I am not half as cool as the person I want to be. How unfortunate.

2004-05-05T23:21:00.000+10:00

One does the strangest thing to avoid work. I just fried butter rice. *roll eyes*

The past week didn't go by incident free, but I just felt anti-blogging...thus its been blog-free. Now i'm back to feeling "talkative" again. Weekend went by delightful...Went for a Jewish service, SAM's Kill Bill2 Movie outing, late night supper @Crown, Dinner @ Sophia's and of course secretly getting Mr Wee out of the country... doesn't get more exciting than that...=P

Mr Gan and I agreed that the Jewish Service was v. good and the pple there were graciously warm...besides he got to wear the lil skull cap thingy. cute. Kill Bill2 was GOOOD, maybe even better than Kill Bill. But of course with the sequel comes the revival of my being associated with Go-Go...left, right, centre...O well.

Indulgent weekends have got their high prices... this one's no exception. Had a presentation on Monday... was a total wreck. At the last minute I couldn't find an available comp in uni to print my paper.... Thought it would be highly inappropraite to start bawling in the middle of the Matheson library... but I was quite close to curling up in the middle of the floor weeping and wailing. Was freaking out and like the weak dependent gf that i am (hate that)...i called the man.. .in a matter of minutes my problems were solved plus i got a reassuring hug and was walked to my presentation venue. It's times like these that I really can't imagine anyone else being able to support me the way he does... despite all my needy, child-like inefficiency + mood swings + selfish spoilt expectations, he almost never got pissed off. He is for now heaven-sent. I could go on raving for a very long time. I am currently quite pro gerard you see.

Would like to say more about Tuesday and Wednesday but am suffering from the mother of all menstral cramps. I abandon my reseach essay and this blog now for a warm bed.

2004-04-28T12:18:00.000+10:00

Radiohead - Final Show Cancelled
Tuesday, 27th April, 2004
Show Cancelled

Unfortunately lead singer of Radiohead, Thom Yorke, has come down with a throat condition. He has received advice from an Ear, Nose and Throat specialist that should he perform tonight he could do irreparable damage to his throat. Therefore the band has made the difficult decision to cancel tonight's show.For refunds of your ticket, please contact the point of purchase.

=(

2004-04-28T08:16:00.000+10:00

v. stone...on lack of sleep that is. was finishing up my long overdued american lit. essay at my usual 4am onwards time slot. By the time I wrapped it up it was close to 11am. Then I suppose I was kan cheong or sumthing... cus have to wake up fer 2pm class...and it takes me 1 hr plus to roll around in bed and out of it... so altogether i had only 1 hr to sleep... BUT i cldn't sleep... maybe cus kancheong maybe excited to go watch radiohead tonite... sigh... but i got headache...then end up din go fer class... upset. hrmp... today doing jack kerouac's on the road... one of the better texts... and it's a one day only seminar... damnit.

best part is ...whole hse no electricity...cos the cleaners came in and while cleaning the oven...blew something... sigh... why oh why... clean oven also can clean until no electricity... now i cant even blow dry my hair.. sian... hair will be so bombastic...how to jian4 ren2!!!! ok... did i just use the word bombastic???and did i just do a han4 yu3 ping4 yin1?????? ... i think im rambling liao lor... soon i'll be delirious... sigh... not good not good... pls oaks... dun do anything embarrassing today...

better go to uni to print and hand in assignment... then can go muiss and stone somemore =}

2004-04-27T01:39:00.000+10:00

I’m sinking choc chip tiny teddies in milo. I’m lagging so far behind with my work…. I deserve to be dunked in scalding hot milo by a giant choc chip teddy instead….

Working in the kitchen between 4am till 9am isn’t half bad except that one has got a class and a crucial driving lesson in some hours. How am I to go for the Radiohead gig tomarrow???? Ah… there’s my old friend GUILT…

Here’s to indulgent weekends and taking the consequences like an average choc chip teddy. I should be eaten alive, melted in a hot drink ala 18 gates of hell or something.

..tired.

2004-04-26T18:14:00.000+10:00

Oh Shame shame... I have to admit that I loved my indulgent weekend with my not much better half... afterall when the other person dun wake before night falls and dun sleep before sunrise...just like oneself... it makes the perfect excuse to stay in bed and watch dvds all day long and crawl out only long enuff to pee and grab more food... then when nite comes... we daysleepers claim the night... hitting the city...walking into 24 hr restaurants, hunting food...people watching... guessing lives...and religiously drinking our lattes....

Oh shame shame... the dacadence just cost me another assignment... but honestly i'll slave thru another week just to have another weekend like that... i can't wait till friday......already feeling physically tired of the week yet to come... but feeling stronger in mental and emotional faith from the weekend. i will live yet... till the next weekend rendevouz! !

religion???

2004-04-23T16:49:00.000+10:00

Groggy. Just woke up. Had taken a nap from 8pm. Have to do assignment. =(
Did not really sleep last night and had to be in uni at noon to meet this rabbi.... in the course of my research (not much has been done...*groan*), I got interested to know about the jewish religion... heheh so i wwent about seeking the jews.....;)

Well it turned out rabbi moshe was coming in to monash for a class... these pple from the alternative religions and spiritualities club had called him in... it was a lively discussion... 8 -10 pple max. I thought it turned out pretty well and i left the room feeling that it was fruitful, esp. my new n different understanding of satan!

It's funny how some pple who are so called religious tend to be so narrow in thinking and so intolerant of other religions.Even if u believe yr religion is the be all and end all... wouldn't you think it is impt. to know why there are other religions?Are the believers of other religions all BAD??? Well...hey... maybe... but if one doesn't know, one shdn't assume.

ahhh... dunno y i'm going into this... I guess being a so-called free thinker, pple tend to be dismissive of me when it comes to religion. It is hurting to hear remarks like " Oh you wouldn't understand, atheist..."/"it's my religion, not yours". well all i have to say is... we all believe in what believe... I personally believe there is a God... and my relationship with God isn't less significant just because i don't attach myself to a human establishment (eg. church)...hey maybe im no less spiritual, just anti-establishment...hahahah... my relationship wif God is in the everyday... it's in the love for the people in my life, the words, my thoughts and my actions. I do answer to God...in my own way... so say wat u will...I'm not bias to any religion... just to the fanatics, the narrow-minded and the insensitive. God Bless!

.... Sze Min is so nice... she made dinner and saved me a share... got fruits somemore!!! Don't even think of stealing this housemate... she's a gem! =)

2004-04-22T22:33:00.000+10:00

had a fight wif del. =(
then i went to throw out the garbage.
have been sitting here ever since.
*blink blink*

2004-04-22T12:34:00.000+10:00

I cldn't find my tute class today... didn't help that I was like 20 mins late... but that doesn't mean they should evaporate into thin air! called charmaine who was supposed to be in the same tute but she was not in class! tsk tsk tsk. So I went to slack ard in MUISS as per usual and read papers. drank another one of my baby-sized vitasoy, that gerard gan had to get me last week (cos i kept pointing to them and telling him it was so cute...)hahahah.ooops. went wif Lai to see the poster sale... wow i controlled myself and din buy any! okay so i bought one... fer bwendon... but it was of GO-Go lar... n he likes Go-GO...when he comes over... she can live with him in his room...

After that I went for driving wif roger as usual. sorry zach... no road kill... then im home now... with zero initiative to do my long overdued assignment... sian.

2004-04-21T22:57:00.000+10:00

Today I liked the MAIN collection area better... must be the intoxicating smell of ole ole paper... may be very old and icky compare to the other sections but it is nice and quiet to read there ...hidden behind rows and rows of books.
Dragged home this whole pile of ref. books on robert frost... Machem going to do work like dat. Now what time already... still didn't do shit... Think I'll skip that irritating Italian woman's lecture later. The only thing i like abt. her is probably her red shoes... must be ferregamo...manolo blainiks or sumthing... hahahha...so chi-chi...

2004-04-20T16:46:00.000+10:00

I can't believe it. I read the entire Age Of Innocents... it was good no doubt... but i was rushing fer the tute today... and guess what? my tutor dismissed the class in half hr (it was a 2 hr seminar) cos only like 3 of us did the readings???... ARGHHHH... fucked up.

Worse still... i did this bimbo thing of spending 3 hrs looking fer ref. books at Matheson...not knowing MAIN collection was not UNDERGRAD collection...and I was there before somemore but I thot it was just periodicals cus it was so dark, musty and well... hardly anyone goes there.... but aiyar sooo damn bimbo... hrmp. head hurts.

2004-04-18T20:42:00.000+10:00

=(

very bad... very very bad.

2004-04-18T15:55:00.000+10:00

interesting. din go library again. had a chat wif charmaine regarding her current state of affairs. nice to catch up... i know pple tell me "but she just stays like next door to you...in the same fucking house" but sometimes i dunno.... hahahah. wun elaborate further but it was interesting eh char?

then allan came over and we had a nice little coffee smokes and chat... and i got to drive his celica around uni...almost taking his side mirror off... heeheehee... nice of him to drop me at turnbull... drizzlin all afternoon... caugh mr gan watching some docu wif the crocodiles... haha typical.... we had a quick dinner at the taiwanese plc and then a quicker coffee at mackers...yes mulgrave... haha typical.... pity we missed Chee seng's CHICKEN RICE... yum yum...but oh well need to do work maybe? haha typical...

2004-04-17T16:55:00.000+10:00

Sigh...Forgot library closes at 5 today... Got there at 4ish so I sat at the Matheson Pond and read till daylight is gone... mr gan happened to be in uni so we settled on going for dinner 2gether.. but it was too early. so poor mr gan went along with my wimps of wanting to sit in the cold wind and read... no lah ... he scuttled off to somewhere warm n came back to fetch me when it was suitably dark so i had no excuse to stay outdoors any longer... hahah idiot.

Got to eat Sushi Sushi at Chaddy's today. Happy. Then watched "Starsky and Hutch"... Wahahhaa FURNEY... must watch...

I lurve Owen Wilson. He always plays the "perfect man" to Ben Stiller's "cannot make it man" FURNEY.. Whahahaha... Damn. It's Friday already.

in conversation wif the legendary brandon........

2004-04-16T09:43:00.000+10:00

Woke up and did all those lasy nice morning things one wld do... like clean the kitchen, make breakfast...but except it ain't morning anymore lor!!! hahahah... i decided to msg Brandon cus I forgot to call him back Tuesday night... well cannot blame me what... I was at the most exciting part of watching Johnny Depp kill his wife in "Secret Window" when he called... funny thing is i sent a blank msg by accident... hahah and he called me instead.Well there goes my afternoon of reading "The Age of Innocents" cos chatting wif brandon is more impt mar... hahaha...tsk tsk oaks excuses away from uni work again...

well i always enjoy tokking to brandon ... who wldn't? we had this conversation abt his cannot make it date that gave him a sore neck... (dun get it wrong... he was enjoying the view of the floor tiles...) *roll eyes* but he is forgiving and the date gets to sit fer a "sup paper"... no you didn't hear wrong... i said "sup. paper". dun ask...*roll eyes*...and he told me abt. the job he has landed drawing nipples. yes. i did say...nipples.

so ya it was an interesting chit chat with bwendon my nipple drawing Merlin...dun ask. *roll eyes*

We're off to see the Wizard... errr...Lizard... the wonderful lizard of Oz...Aus... erm...

2004-04-15T15:49:00.000+10:00

Tired sial.... 8am to 8pm... Great Ocean road was well...Great lor... I lurve outdoors and walks so this was a really good breather for moi... this is like mr gan's third time there but i'm glad he always makes the best of a trip like that...u'd think that a regular guy on his 3rd trip there wld be dragging his feet lagging behind while his sleep-deprived hyper gf jumps ard all excited...but mr gan was at his best relaxed self. i guess away from schedules and uni... hahah we are actually alrite companions..hhahaha maybe being aquarians we love to explore n be in open places...

this morning started out a lil grumpy tho... 8am mar... us 2 night creatures nearly got blinded by the sun... i ended up not sleeping at all then at 7am sharp i started feeling bouncy (it happens when i dun sleep)... so i bounced onto the bed and declared a chirpy "GOOOOD MORNING!!!!RISE AND SHINE!!!".... i think he sweared some and shot me the dirtiest look ever...i guess he was not amused... o well...then i ran around blurly trying to get organised... was nearly late n he looked like he could do w/o me flapping around at the light of day....grumpy grumpy man...

lucky i packed the sandwiches the night before as he suggested... so we were on time. =)
going to orh orh now... wah so early...

2004-04-14T21:44:00.000+10:00

YEAH!my laptoOOp is back! wow...I've been w/o it for like a month plus oredi. Good and bad I suppose... I do spend more time cloud watching / book reading and such w/o the internet/photoshop/games... hahahha equally non-constructive i suppose...

Had wanted to fill this blog wif all my bitchin' from the past month which i had written down... but aiyar... what for right? Honestly, a blog just serves as some sort of avenue to "let it out"... nobody really cares to know whats happening wif you more than you think oaks...hhaha ... but the indulgence of spilling yr guts to a probable audience is comforting in its own weird way... almost as good as any psychiatrist's couch! almost...

anyways... it's the easter break! sigh... as if i did any catching up on my uni work...tsk tsk... and to think i wrote a "to do" list with all that optimism... Been waking up in the afternoon as usual...muck around from kitchen to room to kitchen...(it happens when one lives in a plc proportionate to ermm... think a hamster in a regular hammie cage... well SATURDAY and MONDAY we had the potlucks @ yvonne's and turnbull (gerard's)... on SUNDAY, Mr Gan and I went to the cityand attended church TWICE (Easter mar...okok i had research to do...) then we had a lovely korean dinner at Evelyn's...thank you sweetie... you must teach me to cook man! was a nice visit.. end up 4 of us (plus Lai Lai Lai of course) were watching tv/ playing cards...

Yesterday (TUESDAY) we were in Camberwell to pick up my BABY...the laptoop lar... then we had a gd walk around (trying not to buy somemore junk...) makan at Gloria Jean's with our dose of newspaper reading and haha the cute guy behind the counter *wink wink*...then watched "Secret Window" @ RIVOLI... had always wanted to catch a show there... cos the place is just stunning... wonderful ambience, historical 30s interiors etc. I highly rec the plc... you can even read the history put up on the walls.. even toilet also old skool sial...

Sheeet.. so late already... was happily putting musik in the ipod i won from SAM's Connexion's Seminar... funny thing was I din quite attend the SEMINAR part... I did however makan the free lunch and take part in the lucky draw! hahahah....

Shd stop rambling to defrag laptooop and do total virus scan n tuck myself in for er... 2 hrs of sleep...? Cos going Great Ocean Road with mr gan today! Like FINALLY. ... thanks to yet "another cool activity from the Singapore Association of Monash..." ahahhaha.. thanks ah folks... signing off, the ipod gurl...kekeeekee

2004-02-24T21:33:00.000+11:00

thou shalt not attempt to make blog into radical artwork. i have messed this up from last october and not even a mangled piece of shit has been published. how typical...resolution feb 2004: revert to old skool template.